Stalking People into Friendship

Squish (noun): A squish is a platonic crush, one where you like someone and want to be close to them, but not in a romantic way.

One thing I’ve learned about adulthood is that making friends is hard. Especially for introverts like me who would rather craft at home than go out at night. So when I do meet someone who seems nerdy enough to get me, I know I have to do whatever it takes to make that person my friend.

Even if it means a bit of light stalking.

Hey, it worked with The Geeky Seamstress! Sporadatak and I saw a fellow cosplaying blogger, developed a squish, and—long story short—we’re best buds now and we reminisce over those early stalkery days over wine-fueled craft nights.

But what if you can’t get to a person who you think could make an awesome friend…based on nothing more than a strong hunch and morning lethargy?

A few times over the past weeks, I’ve noticed the same car driving next to me down the highway while fighting through the heinous traffic to get to my even more heinous job. A red PT Cruiser. Most people may not even notice it. But I did. Because it’s a total geek beacon.

The back windshield displayed a handful of stickers, including a TARDIS, the Supernatrual pentagram, K-9 and a few other geeky gems. My attention was directed away from the Broadway show tunes that always fill my car and toward this windshield of geekdom because those are my fandoms too!

One morning, I caught a glimpse of the driver, who was a female with short, choppy bleached hair and thick black glasses. I instantly had a hunch that we’d get along. Because we like the same shows and we both have funky hair. Perfect squish material! But I think this situation is beyond the level of stalking that I’m comfortable with. Facebook stalking? No problem! Local cosplay idol? That’s what cons are for! But some random person driving down the highway? There’s no good way to spark a conversation.

I mean, it could go down one of two ways. Both of which end in my humiliation.

1. I could follow her to work, leap out my car, run toward her, and scream “WILL YOU PLEASE BE MY FRIEND, FELLOW NERD?” But calling my current friends to come bail me out of jail doesn’t sound like a pleasant method of meeting new friends.
   _
2. Or, I could try signaling her to roll down her window the next time we share a commute and try to explain that I too love Doctor Who and Supernatual. Of course, that would probably end in us both getting into accidents since navigating Dallas highways during rush hour takes an immense amount of focus to avoid the hundreds of people who cut you off or completely forget how to drive on a daily basis. A mechanic’s bill for thousands of dollars is hardly an invitation of friendship.

It seems as though the only viable option is to stare longingly at her back windshield, hoping that a friendship might miraculously materialize. A friendship that I’m not even sure would actually work out anyway. After all, she could be driving her sibling’s car while hers is in the shop. Or she could be the most freaking fantastic geek herself.

Sigh. I guess I’ll never know.

-Calliopunk